Saturday, November 04, 2006

Does silence speak louder than words?


I am going on a spiritual retreat for the week on monday (so far) i say so far because i am really anxious about it and actually quite fearful. I am going to Loyola hall http://www.loyolahall.f2s.com/ and the retreat is a silent one with the exception of time with your spiritual guide.There will be no tv, internet, txts or mini bar (so don't think i have fallen of the face of the earth next week if you hear nothing from me ) There will however be loads of hours for prayer and meditation which i feel i need. I have been erratic, irresponsible and basically confused as of late. My head is full and needs to be drained. This retreat is different from anything i have ever done and also different from what i have been taught so far. Maybe that is one of the reasons for my uncertainty. There is a hint of cheating on my church. Going behind it's back in search for answers it doesn't provide. I don't think that is really the case. The only thing i am searching for is another level of my relationship with God. Spending time with people who can help me to discern the ways in which he is speaking to me. God moved me so fast and delivered me from so much that i got scared and prayed and prayed for him to slow down. I guess i got my prayers answered!
I am desperate to progress and although i am aware of the dangers of getting my hopes up, i think that this retreat may provide me with some answers. My honeymoon period ended in August but my belief didn't. The only thing i can do now is to be open and honest to God and really see if silence speaks louder than words.

9 comments:

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

in the words of Garbo ' i want to be alone'

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

O ye of little faith! faith is a fantastic thing and i reckon i can do it so there! those holidays were fun though back in the day...

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

It aint rehab, it all true really! i seriously am a christian and nowadays i seek comfort in God so there is no need for rehab
(I sound like Amy winehouse!)
is there anyone out there who believes in me?!
xxxx

1peter1:23 explains

Ellen Loudon said...

Well I for one am pleased you are going to spend time with the Jesuits in Loyola hall...I had a fab retreat there. Just don't try to hard to make things happen just have a chilled out time. Silence might be a challenge though!
xxx

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

I think that's where i was going wrong - trying too hard. Am just gonna chill. They have a spa etc now - don't know if they had it when you went? x

Ellen Loudon said...

I know you can't access the www but I am thinking of you. Particualrly today as we have been in silence at Trinity all day. It was great! xxx

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

Hey Gem
You doing great, hang in there. Am so glad you found something that obviously makes you happy. You have a lot to give. The kids are very lucky! As of the 'fame' style mentality, i would not cope ( i don't do lycra!) plus i went edge hill! glad to hear from you girl. I miss you and little claire. Your Nana sounds like a fantastic lady who loves to share her faith, especially with those she loves the most. She must be a wise women. Think on Hepworth! Wishing you all the best with your placement mate. Will be praying for you
xxx

Ellen Loudon said...

glad to see you are back from the retreat...please give us news about it on your blog

St. Claire of Toxteth said...

I am trying to but they say that Spam summat means i cannot enter a post. I shall try again!